


When We're Fifty-Nine

by DeltaS



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeltaS/pseuds/DeltaS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happily ever after always takes some tender loving care...</p>
            </blockquote>





	When We're Fifty-Nine

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted in June 1998

“Chakotay... did you hear me?” Kathryn Janeway’s sharp voice pierced the still morning atmosphere of the large kitchen in their apartment overlooking the glimmering waters of Lake Louise.

“Hmmm?” the man sitting across from her mumbled, slowly pulling his attention away from the infopadd in front of him. “Sorry, dear. What did you say?”

Her sigh and shake of the head told him that once more he had not been concentrating on his wife’s end of the conversation... all right, her single-sided conversation.

“I asked you if you were given a time for us to be at Ben Sisko’s restaurant on Saturday.”

His stream of consciousness shifted. He blinked his eyes a few times, as if dusting off cobwebs of the mind.

“Mmmm... let’s see... I think he said 1900 hours. Why?”

“I have that all-day seminar at the Academy; remember? Can I count on you to arrange for transporter space reservations?”

“Sure... yes. I’ll look into it,” he said, returning to his infopadd.

“Well, please remember this time. I don’t like to pull rank to get spaces when you forget.”

She rose from her chair, careful of twisting her right knee which had been bothering her lately... again.

“I’m running a little late if I want to be in the 0740 transport wave to San Francisco. Are you taking a late shuttle to Mars today?”

The man looked up again. “Hmmmm? Oh, yes... the late one. And I’ll be back on the 1830 one tonight. I don’t want to get caught in that traffic jam of shuttles trying to get in before then. It’s gotten so crowded any earlier that it’s be worse than a Ferengi entrepreneural convention!”

She limped back to the table, her mug once more filled with coffee. “It’s got to be better than that molecular mix-up with the transporter last week. It must have taken the engineers at the Academy 20 minutes to pull in everyone.”

She sat back down at the table, grimacing slightly at the twinge in her leg.

“Sometimes I really wish we were back on Voyager and facing the Borg. At least we could focus our energies in one place and get a task accomplished. Nowadays, with all my students and classes and meetings at the Academy, and all the contract reviews you are having to do on shuttlecraft proposals, it seems like it will never end. Is it ever going to slow down, Chakotay? We hardly ever get to see each other... *and when we do, it seems you always find an interesting download, or another modification to the computer system to play around with... what ever happened to that undying devotion that you swore would always be there... * She sighed silently through the grin on her face.

Oh, but she had changed, too. Even though there had been the constant togetherness with their five years on Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, there had been distance, too... sexual tension has a way of doing that. Once they had returned to the Alpha Quadrant.. to the familiar... the known... much became known to them about each other. Without the wall of aboard ship decorum, they had quickly acknowledged their attraction and linkage to one another. Marriage quickly followed... and now, fifteen years had sped by, and here they were... sitting across from each other, lost in their own thoughts, yet united by the subconscious connective that is inherent in longtime companions. She knew that she didn’t communicate with him the way she used to... perhaps if she had a ready room....

Kathryn chuckled at her thoughts.

For some reason, the sound of her voice triggered him to look up.

“What’s so funny?” he grinned back, his smile reminiscent of his secret smiles years ago.

Her eyes, not quite as bright as they used to be, caught his.

“When did we get to be... older?”

“We’re older? I hadn’t noticed,” he laughed back.

“Looked in a mirror recently?” she smirked. “The snow on that head of yours is becoming more and more prominent.”

His eyes lit up. “Yes, but there’s still fire in the furnace; you know that, Kathryn!”

She sighed. “Yes... when we can find time to... um... stoke the coals.”

He laid the padd aside. “You’re right. We’re *not* setting our priorities straight.”

“So, do you have any suggestions?” she asked. “I think that’s another one of our problems... it always seems that I’m always the one who is making any plans for whatever we can manage to work into our schedules. Chakotay, when was the last time you really had some R&R? And I’m not going to let you count trips on Starfleet business or visits to friends... I mean, just the two of us... no work; no communicators; no padds...”

He sighed, obviously putting some thought now into her words.

“Too long. Maybe three... four years?”

“That’s my guess, too. We both have leave to burn on the books. I haven’t heard of any pending crises lately. Why don’t we plan a little vacation? I have a break coming up at the Academy in three weeks... then I won’t be able to get any time off again until December...”

He quickly called up his calendar on the padd.

“Ooooops! I’ve got to meet will the delegation from Vega II in three weeks.. and then there’s the directorate quarterly meeting, and Brasct’s retirement function... and...”

“Chakotay!” she almost yelled. “This is what I mean... there is always.. something! We just have to say that we’ll do it!”

She glanced at the chronometer by the door. “I really am late. Please... just think about it.” She grabbed her satchel and quickly went over to him, leaning down and quickly kissing him good-bye. “Love you!” she said, as she now ran to the door.

“Uh,hum... me, too,” he said, his mind already back on the padd in front of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathryn was the first one home that evening. The day had been horrendous, from the moment she had walked into her office.

The blinking indicators on her message board were lighting up her small sanctuary of an office at the Academy as soon as she opened the door. It seemed that an outbreak of Cardassian dengue had hit the campus, and she had messages from 16 students in her astrometrics 310 class calling to say they weren’t going to be there... and it was the last lecture day before the exam study period. Damn! She had planned on catching up on so much... now, she would be faced with one-on-one sessions to get the young people up to speed before exams. Then, Admiral Glenridge, dean of the galactic sciences division, had called an all-hands meeting at noon to discuss budgets for the next year. (*Which means we’ll probably be denied research assistants for this summer..*, Kathryn correctly surmised.) Five or six messages were from fellow contributors to a new curriculum she was designing.... *they probably just want to debate semantics,* she thought.

It had been a day fraught with small, prickly problems, the energy draining kind, which leave you with a feeling of frustration at having accomplished very little and drained of any motivation.

Even though it was late May, by 1930 hours the sun already had begun its daily descent behind the western ridge of the Canadian Rockies and the welcome warmth of the day was disappearing, also. Kathryn decided to change clothes before facing her evening obligations, and walked up the circular stairs to their bedroom suite. She was panting slightly as she reached the top of the steps.

*Guess I had better get back into a workout routine,* she thought, disgusted with how quickly her body reverted to a less-than-Starfleet-acceptable level when she did not discipline herself to exercise. *Those steps get taller and steeper every day.*

She walked into the bedroom and glanced around and sighed. Well, at least the bed was made... but, on either side, stacks of papers and padds threatened to topple at any minute. The shipboard ever-so-neat Chakotay now tended to just let things lay. The top of his bureau was strewn with pocket size tools and odd-sized credit chips. A broken tricorder had been there for at least three months. *It’s still good... I’m going to fix it,* he had promised. A pair of boots and two pair of moccasins were scrambled beside a chair on “his” side.

Not that she was much better. Her chest was covered with pocketpadds from students, waiting to have work graded. There was the top she had worn last weekend, still expecting to be taken to the cleaning recycler. It was folded neatly, but still there. Information chips dotted the surface, gathering dust; she really should put them in a file box.

She unseamed her uniform; God, did that feel good! And the boots... how she hated those boots! Even now, as she opted for the lower wedged type, her feet still throbbed when she took them off. Years of wearing the higher heeled, more constraining models had left her feet with bony knobs that even the most modern medic couldn’t seem to repair.

Now, in just her underwear, she lay back on the bed, taking in a deep breath. *This shouldn’t feel so good!* she thought. *Maybe I’ll close my eyes for just a couple of minutes...* And she fell asleep, thinking about their morning “discussion” about some time away... knowing that he needed it more than she did.

With a jolt that twitched ever fiber in her body, she startled herself awake as she heard his voice.

“Kathryn? Are you here?” Chakotay called out.

She scrambled to her feet, groggy with the slight sleep of a catnap. “Um... I’m up here. Be with you in a minute.”

She heard his heavy steps climbing the stairs, echoing an end-of-day tiredness similar to hers. He got to the room before she had had a chance to put on the tunic and pants that she had pulled out.

He stood there, looking at her, framed by the low golden light coming in through the windows.

“Yes?” she said.

“You are beautiful; you know that, don’t you?”

“Chakotay... how can you say that? My face has wrinkles... my body sags at every bump and lump. My waist almost equals my hips and...”

“And you are still the most beautiful woman in the universe.”

He walked over to her and took her in his arms. “And I love you dearly. Don’t get dressed...” he continued as he gently urged her backwards towards the bed.

“Chakotay... not now!” she murmured.

“Why not?”

“I’ve got to replicate some dinner... and I have a stack of pocketpadds to review and...”

“And they will be there in a little while, too.” He was brushing back the day-weary locks of her hair.

“Hmmm.... if I have *snow* in my hair, how come yours is still so gorgeous?” He had pushed her to the edge of the bed, and her legs were giving in to the pressure. She was forced to a sitting position on the bed.

She giggled. “That’s my little secret!”

He sat down beside her, his arms still around her, urging her less and less reluctant body into a prone position. His larger body curled itself around hers. Their faces were no more than 5 centimeters apart as he breathed into her face.

“And my dear Admiral, how many more secrets are you keeping from me?”

Her arms reached up and encircled his thick neck.

“Probably more than you know... if I’m correct in assuming that you don’t listen to a fraction of what I say!”

He began to kiss her.

“Mmmmm.... maybe it’s time for an interrogation session,” he said as their lips met and melded.

Their embrace became warm and familiar, each seeking touches of areas that they knew so well... his lips found the nape of her neck, and followed the well-worn trail around to the hollow in the front of her neck; her fingers sought the sensitive areas just below his ears. Their murmurs of comfort and familiarity quickly drained away the tensions of the day.

“Maybe we should delay dinner,” he huskily suggested.

“Maybe we should,” she whispered. “What do you have in mind?”

“Hopefully, the same thing you do,” he grinned back, his dimples still able to melt her spirit.

He began to remove the remaining single layer of clothing she had on, as she, in practiced synchronized movements, started relieving him of the constraints of his uniform. The clothing items soon became another little pile in their bedroom.

The waning rays of sunlight winked between the shadows of their bodies, as they fell into a favorite but now infrequent pastime. And it still felt as scintillating and new and miraculous as it had that first time sixteen long years ago...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She awoke with a start, groggy with the peaceful relaxation that their unexpected coupling had produced. Chakotay was still lying next to her, on his stomach, a not-too-gentle snore coming from his sleeping form. His large arm was draped over her, always protective even in his unconsciousness. A slight sheen of perspiration that covered their bodies was quickly evaporating, and a chill was now creeping over her, like a clinging vine. She stealthily moved his arm off, and rolled towards him.

“Chakotay...” she said softly.

He, too, awoke with a start.

“Huh...wha?” He rolled onto his back, took a deep breath and opened his eyes, stretching as he did so. He started a slow, sensual smile as their eyes met.

“Well... that was a ‘welcome home’ I wasn’t expecting,” he grinned.

“Nor I,” Kathryn responded, her own expression taking on a softness that she had not felt for a long time. “I think we both needed that,” she continued.

He reached up, and languidly traced the outline of her glowing post-passion face.

“I think you’re right. We have forgotten to give in to spontaneity... and, as I recall, that was one of the things I found so surprising... and delightful... about you... when you finally *did* decide to... um... concede that maybe... perhaps... there was a little something between us.”

She now was fingering his lips like a piano keyboard.

“Or maybe I was just taking every opportunity to make up for all the ‘lost time’ from those first five years...”

He gently stilled her hands and slowly kissed each fingertip.

“I think we have some ‘lost time’ to make up for now, too. You’re right as usual, Kathryn... we do need a vacation. I talked with Admiral Gorton today, and we both agreed that the last two weeks in June could be arranged.”

“Oh, Chakotay! she cried, encircling him in a hug. “That’s wonderful! I think I can arrange for that time, too. This is wonderful. Now... where should we go?”

“We can do a computer search tonight,” he said. “We had better do it soon because the most popular spots fill up fast.”

“Mmmm....” she sighed , leaning into his firm body, “I don’t know that I want to go to any place that is populated.”

“I was sort of hoping that you would say that,” he smiled back. “Let’s get away from people... just the two of us...”

“Sounds good to me,” she softly responded.

They sat quietly... peacefully... sharing the comfort of each other's body for several minutes. She reluctantly got up.

“Well, I guess we really should shower and have something to eat. A little while ago, when you were asleep, I couldn’t tell whether your snoring or your grumbling stomach was louder.”

“I don’t snore!” he half yelled, half laughed at her.

“And sometime I’m going to make an audiogram of... whatever those sounds are,” she called back as she slipped into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The earlier mellow mood continued through their dinner and the subsequent clean-up. Kathryn surprised herself by realizing that she was actually humming softly as she gathered together some work that she had brought home. It had been quite awhile since she had felt this relaxed... and invigorated... enough not to groan with the idea of more work.

She was engrossed in reading one of the many padds she had put on the desk when a silent footed Chakotay came up behind her.

“Boo!” he said, causing her to jump in surprise.

“Chakotay... please don’t do that; my heart can’t take surprises like that... like it used to.”

“Hmmm.... then maybe I shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, obviously caught in a decision bind.

“What?” she asked, her curiosity now piqued.

He brought his right hand, which had been behind his back, to the foreground. Resting in his palm and clasped by his enclosing fingers was a small wooden box.

“Kathryn, I know that it’s two more days until your birthday; but with all our talk today about making time for each other, I just thought that this would be appropriate to give you right now.”

“Chakotay... we had said, no more birthdays! I really don’t mind admitting my age, but I find it quite difficult to accept the reality of that number getting higher and higher so quickly.”

“Plus... you don’t like to think that with your birthday each year, you’re older than me for six months,” he laughed, his dark eyes becoming full of gleeful light at his tormenting statement.

“That, too,” she whimpered. “You never let me forget that, do you?” she pouted.

“Never! It’s one of the few ways I feel I can have some control over you!” he leered. “You can’t dispute the calendar!”

He quickly became somber and serious.

“Kathryn, we must never forget how important time is to us. We *aren’t* that young any more... although, mind you, I’m not saying that fifty-nine is old!... but I wanted you to have this... ”

He handed her the box, which she tentatively took from his hand.

She slowly raised the hinged lid. Inside the box, there was a plush fabric lining, once a deep red but now faded and worn with the passing years. Cradled by the swaddled fabric was an old fashioned pocket watch, which had to be at least two hundred years old.

“It was my father’s,” Chakotay said reverently. And his fathers’ before him, and his father’s before him. It dates back to the early 22nd century.”

Kathryn was speechless... spellbound by the history that she held in her hands.

“Chakotay... it’s beautiful!” she whispered, putting the box down on her desk top and carefully picking up the ancient timepiece. She delicately raised it from its resting place. The face of the watch was about six centimeters across, its crystal in pristine condition, reflecting Roman numeral digits. Black hour and minute hands were moving imperceivably, while a slender second hand moved more quickly through its appointed circle. The case was of ornate carved silver, blackened somewhat from the oxidation of years. Dangling from its fob was a large-linked chain, forming a metal tail of about 15 centimeters.

“I... really don’t know... what to say,” stuttered the shocked woman.

“Just say that our time together has just begun,” he whispered into her ear.

She reluctantly laid it back into its box, looking at it with a studied gaze.

“What is it?” he asked, reading the question and query forming behind her eyes.

She shivered.

“It’s almost like... deja vu, Chakotay. I have this strange feeling that you have given me this watch before... on my birthday... during a time of horrendous stress for both of us. And that it became a symbol of... our togetherness... even though we were apart.”

She quickly shook her head, as if the motion would brush away the unwelcome images.

He raised her from the desk chair, and embraced her.

“Whatever it was... it was in the past. We are here... now... and we are together. That’s what matters.”

Kathryn pulled back from her husband, still disturbed by the ghostly feeling.

“I don’t ever want us to take each other for granted again, Chakotay. That’s what this watch should mean to both of us.”

His mood quickly matched hers, as her held her closer.

“And so it will. I have always believed that life was full of spirits to guide us, and who is to say that this watch doesn’t contain spirits to watch over us?”

They remained unmoving, gathering strength and support from each other’s tranquillity. Finally, he spoke.

“Now... about that vacation... I think it’s time to seriously look into our options!”

The fleeting brush with the unknown past flew away. Kathryn pushed away the work in front of her.

“Then let’s do it,” she stated emphatically, activating the small desk computer. “What did you have in mind?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thousands of light years away, in a far off universe, another Kathryn Janeway, her own hair streaked with silver and her face disfigured from a long-ago injury, smiled as she fondled an ancient watch on a fob chain, hanging from the waistband of her trousers... dreaming of a life that she could have had... but lost.

~*~FINIS~*~


End file.
